Look Out Below!
by Leader of the Penguins
Summary: You would think being stuck in the crow's nest for hours on end that Frederick Fleet and Reginald Lee wouldn't be able to get up to mischief. Amazingly, they still do, only they have to face the wrath of Second Officer Lightoller which is never going to be pleasant.


**Look Out Below!**

Frederick Fleet and Reginald Lee were shivering in the cold of the night. It was the 11th April 2005. They were stuck in the crow's nest for a few more hours. They couldn't stand it. The temperature was freezing, perhaps several degrees under. They were waiting for the phone call from Chief Officer Wilde that would be able to relieve them of their duties.

"It's bloody freezin'." said Fleet, stating the obvious. He was rubbing his hands together. Of all nights, why did he have to forget his gloves?

"Y-You think I d-d-don't know that!" Lee said indignantly. He looked over the side of the crow's nest and saw a peculiar sight. "What the hell ...?"

Fleet looked over the side too. "Jesus!"

They couldn't believe their eyes. Bruce Ismay and Second Officer Lightoller were having a full scale arguement on the deck. They could hear them arguing, although rather faintly. Quietly, they listened in.

"... Look, I don't a toss," began Lightoller, flapping his hands about. "I am NOT about to let you go into the mail hold and intercept peoples letters!"

Fleet and Lee looked at each other before their eyes returned to the scene on deck. Lightoller looked like he was lowering lifeboats in all directions at once, the way his hands and arms were waving and flapping about. If it weren't for the fact that him and Ismay were arguing, it would have been a hysterical sight indeed!

"Look, Mr Lightoller, I only wanted to find letters addressesed to a Daniel Taylor in Los Angeles," said Ismay, but Lightoller was having none of it. He knew fine well that Ismay was up to something.

"Yeah, and I'm looking for letters addressed to Homer Simpson!" Lightoller said sarcastically,"Now get lost or I'll get the captain out here!" Lightoller yelled in Ismay's face, his annoyance clearly showing.

Ismay walked off with a look of disgust and shock on his face. He couldn't believe what he had just heard.

Fleet and Lee watched Lightoller walk away after five miutes. They couldn't hide their laughter. Mr Ismay had been severely told off by one of the ship's senior officers. It was too much to take in.

The next day, when it was slightly warmer, Fleet and Lee were up in the crow's nest again. This time, they were watching Jack Dawson chase his friends Fabrizio de Rossi and Tommy Ryan around the deck below. They were shouting, but this time the lookouts were unable to hear them.

"That looks like fun," commented Lee.

"Damn straight. Hey, when's lunch?" Fleet looked at his watch rather hungrily.

"Three hours but -"

"Oh shit! I'm starvin' now!" Fleet clutched his stomach quite dramatically to emphasise his hunger.

" - but I have some cream cakes," finished Lee, taking out a packet of fat cream cakes from his pocket. They were a bit squashed but from the look on Fleet's face it didn't matter.

Fleet grabbed one out of the packet and ate it with incredible speed. Lee had only taken his second bite out of his when Fleet was finished. Fleet took another and was about to shove the whole cake into his mouth when he had an idea.

Without thinking Fleet shouted "Look out below!" and threw his cake at Fabrizio, which hit him in the face. Jack and Tommy nearly wet themselves laughing as Fabrizio shouted every Italian profanity he could think of.

Lee, however, was mortified. He hid the packet back in his jacket before turning to Fleet who was laughing like a mad scientist.

"You great fucker! Bleedin' Christ, what the HELL were you thinking?" Lee took his shoe off because he has a weak punch and hit Fleet over the head repeatedly with it because he was so mortified.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" yelled Fleet, who in turn took off his own shoe and began to hit Lee with it. As they say, fight fire with fire. What a peculiar sight! In the grandest ship in the world, the two lookouts were hitting each other with shoes (they had taken off their other shoe as well and used that aswell!).

Of course, when Lightoller saw it, despite being a fun-loving man himself, he went berserk. He went berserk even more so when Fleet appeared to drop his own shoes on the floor of the crow's nest, grab Lee's shoes, and throw them overboard!

"Oi! What the fuck! No fair!" moaned Lee huffily. However he got his revenge by throwing Fleet's shoes overboard, and pelted him with the last of the cream cakes.

By this time, Lightoller had stormed along to the ladder which led to the crow's nest. He was going up there to sort it out. Big time. He began to climb up just as one of the cream cakes hit him on the head. Lookout Lee was never very good at throwing, or anything else apparently.

With increased determination Lightoller climbed up the nets. Fleet and Lee didn't know what (or who) was going to hit them. When Lightoller's head popped up from the side, the two lookouts took one look at the cream cake mess on Lightoller's head (it looked like a large bird with digestion problems had done the toilet on Lightoller's head) before screaming and climbing down the other ladder.

"Run! Run! RUN!" squealed Fleet once he and Lee had jumped from the ladder onto the deck.

Lightoller began to chase the shoeless lookouts through the bridge and along the deck, past the cafe, and into the first class corridor. It was an amusing sight. Several people, including Mr Andrews, burst out laughing at the sight that was running past them at full speed.

"Quick! Quick!" the cries of the two lookouts could be heard from all over the ship, as were Lightoller's annoyed yells of "Get back here you morons!"

Needless to say, Lightoller caught up with them (eventually) and gave them the row of their lives. The two lookouts returned to the crow's nest after recieving a hefty beating from Lightoller, whether he was allowed to do it or not.

"Never again!" said Fleet indignantly, once he and Lee were in the crow's nest.

"It's your fault!" Lee said, to which the pair began to argue. Verbally, as they had no shoes or cakes to throw at them. Lightoller had confiscated their hats because he thought they might use them to hit each other with, and was now keeping a close eye on them.

_Fleet and Lee had learned their lesson ... for now ..._


End file.
